Slug…

The inevitable has happened. I have tipped the scales too far. At the tail end of a 2 month break between semesters, I have completed my metamorphosis into a slug. An amorphous, nearly shapeless, consumer with no visible (read: valuable) output. I know that this is a familiar (but, dreadful) pattern that often follows an intense semester of time juggling, but why do I allow this free time to subvert my entire way of life and eventually my mood and feelings, especially of self-worth? The good news is that it is familiar enough that I know it is a phase and only that, and my normal operations will resume soon. But the point that really sticks me is: why is it so familiar, or in other words, why do I allow this pattern to continue to take over my life? I know the pattern, I know the prescription, but I still lack the self-discipline to put down that damned historical novel and get something done that doesn’t involve my pajamas and perfecting the mold of my butt in the couch cushion.

When I get to the end of a semester of completing other people’s projects and demands on my time, all I long for is a few uninterrupted hours of reading simply for the pleasure of it. Which, of course, isn’t a horrible thing. Where this becomes a problem is when that is my default action, rather than something that is an indulgence at the end of a fulfilling and productive day. Heaps and heaps of fun and creative projects call my name, not to mention the insistent, and damnably persistent, call of housework- and yet, my choice 9 out of 10 times is the same.

So, how do I change this? I can acknowledge the problem, “Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I neglect my real life…” But, something tells me that’s only half of it; the other half must include resolution. And not one of those namby, pamby New Year’s ones. I mean a real one. One of the difficult ones that I know I will probably fail at, but commit to it anyway. Because, not doing so is worse than that failure. And the failure is at least something. It’s attached to something real.

Slug, indeed. Is salt too drastic a step?